“So, being a writer is,
like, a total blast, right?” a well-meaning person said to me recently. “You
can do whatever you want, whenever and stuff. OMG! I am sooo jealous!!!” (Eloquent, she wasn’t.)
Some days are easier than others; depending on what level the brain is operating.
I am suffering from a well-meaning brain period. I am not writing because I have been preoccupied with other tasks, and my brain (well-meaning as it is) has helpfully offered this advice, “Don’t worry, child! I’m keeping notes up here for you.”
I could make time to write
any time, but as I am my own boss, “I ain’t got no stinkin’
deadlines. I can write whenever I want!”
But when I do, I have been
trying to find the most ridiculous excuses not to…
At the same time, when I am
not writing, I am still thinking about writing. It’s not so much an obsession
as it is an ongoing exercise where I keep trying to make a story work, but
there is something missing because it feels hollow.
There’s no point in writing
down something that doesn’t work – I am editing before I get it down on paper,
which is lethal to the process and I prove it by not having much down.
The well-meaning brain
still assures me, silently but confidently, “It’s okay,
girl! I got your back.”
I need to focus. Sit and
write. Read when that doesn’t work. Research when that’s exhausted. Maybe adding
a little structure wouldn’t be a bad thing, brain, accept a little discipline
to make it all better!
The well-meaning brain,
upon realizing that I reasoned what I need is a deadline, suddenly has gone quiet
and reminded me of a Sam Kinison routine because suddenly the well-meaning brain
had nothing to say! Perhaps it
believes that if it stays quiet I will forget and get back to a rousing game of
Bejeweled Blitz or something equally intellectually numbing.
I joke about it, but
lacking structure can be freeing but also a hindrance. Sometimes structure is
what propels you through the rough patches.
March Madness is over and I
don’t have to worry about taxes until next year. Back to work, and brain, get
out of my way!
If you assumed being a
writer was easy, I laugh at you. Internal dialogue is an ongoing thing where
you weigh the pros and cons of actions, setting, character motivations, interactions,
themes and all sorts of details about story; it also involves the business of
writing as well as all the other things that preoccupy the human race – from love
to finances, to what’s for dinner and a million other details… You learn to
quiet it so you can sleep, but mostly it is like an untamed beast that runs wild
and free.
Of course, I am gloriously
entertained by my imagination. It creates a well-meaning brain character that
delivers pithy dialogue and I think it does so in a fake Southern accent to
make me laugh. But even this is just a distraction, another excuse, not to sit
and get to work.
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| Source: http://archann.net/ Please visit that page for the extraordinarily inspiring work of Archan Nair |
Some days you have to be
stern with your inner child and say, “Alright, kid, stop trying to
impersonate a writer and move over. Back to work, brain!”
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