I was trying to organize my thoughts and in the process realized there was a character that suddenly appeared – no name, no face, no history – and he would change everything. Suddenly, yet slowly, he formed into a force to be reckoned...
The problem that I ran into was that I tried to write Magical Stilettos by the seat of my pants. I wanted to see how far I could take it if I just wrote and allowed it to develop as I wrote.
This is possible, but not with this story.
I need an outline. I need direction.
As I started to jot down ideas, it seemed clear that I was creating a mythology. The idea of working with prototypes became both interesting and more than a little intimidating. Of course, any work of fiction operates within its own mythology. But I am also dabbling in world building. It's getting complicated now!
I want to immerse myself in the creative process but I find too many distractions – worries and insecurities, the weight of this brutal winter taking its toll on my state of being, an unfocused mind, shiny objects – keep me from dedicating myself as I should.
A visit to the realms of fantasy is what is needed here. I have not been there in some time, but I remember enough to imagine a guided tour until I can dive in with unabashed abandon.
I haven't written a chapter in weeks but I have notes that promise a good payoff when I do get started again.
The one problematic thing was one particular note, written in a sort of shorthand and with which I intended to release a character that screamed to be part of the story (and she has not even been hinted at yet). A couple of weeks later, I looked at the note and it stared back at me. “Prototype of happiness in gloom...”
It did three things:
- it filled me with excitement
- it filled me with dread
- it focused me enough to solve the puzzle at hand.
It was exciting because it clearly opened some possibilities in character development and plot that I had not considered before. It filled me with dread because half of it made no sense. I had no idea what part of my own note meant!
Once I decided I needed to get back this moment and bring meaning to it, it wasn't so much a matter of reliving the moment when I wrote it as it was adding everything I had and surmising where all these loose ends were headed to conclude what I meant.
It may sound a little silly, but being able to focus – even if for short spurts – means the world because there will be more distractions coming up and I need to know I can work around them.
Right now, I want a full outline and at least two full characters before I start jury duty. I want to write as much as I can fit into the proceedings. It will be my life affirming act of defiance.
It seems to me that as justice is part of the story, it might be conducive to writing. Also, perhaps the criminal element might suggest an end game. I still don't know how the story ends.
Still, progress is progress and I will take any bit that moves me forward.